willingness to believe

When we're too willing to believe in something, we can hastily conclude something which has more room to be explored. And we can close those doors to exploration.

We want to understand this reality fully. And in doing so we create a limited frame. We want to be at the finish line of comprehension, comfortably enlightened, and done.

The discomfort of Not Knowing can be unbearable sometimes. But, patience.

We may never know. I take comfort in thinking i will know, and i'll have moments of knowing even before i die. but those moments will be short lived. But again, that's just a belief that i'm holding on to, in order to create comfort.

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We all believe (something). Whatever method we reached the temporary conclusion (hopefully temporary) doesn't matter. Scientific method, magical deduction, dowsing, googling, research, stories passed down from ancestors and culture, television, media, movies, friends, hearsay, church...

There was this study that was done... lol... that showed that participants in the study couldn't shake old information, even after learning that it was false.

That further confirms my previous thought 'I don't believe what i believe.' Its a good place to stand, because its all false, i'm sure.


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So, I'm creating a story (consciously) (a story of beliefs, of reality) that will make me happy(happiest). I want to create a belief system that makes me joyful, enthusiastic, and inspired.
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Therefore, I'm choosing to believe that
1. I am a goddess, we are all gods and goddesses, Little Creators, reflections/fractals of the Great Kosmos, little geometries in a bigger geometry.

2. I am a vessel for consciousness, not a generator of it. Therefore, when i die, i do not cease to exist, although my body and form ceases to exist. This inspires me (why?) because it really takes the pressure off of Time and the fleeting nature of everything.
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I want to enjoy my life. There's nothing i can really accomplish that can make me happy on my deathbed, except to know that i was present for most of my life, not heading towards the future and not lingering in the past, but enjoying the moments when i was 24, 30, 35, 50, et cetera. I want to be here now for most, if not all of it.



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yup

New-Age evolutionaries, being too serious.

I really like how Jiva and Juliette of The Template phrase things, and for the most part like how they see things. Here is a video they put together summarizing their perspective. I'm not sure what to think about the government and military operations and motivations, but one thing is for certain. It doesn't matter.

Whatever is going on, Light Workers must keep at the forefront of their existence, the attitude of play. Who, under the influence of mushrooms, has realized heaven? One thing that is recurring in those moments for me, is that heaven is here and we are here to play. Little goddesses that we are, we are creators, and it is VITAL TO PLAY!!! and to be playful. And to not be so fuggin serious.

That is something that really bothered me about the new age scene in san francisco, how seriously they took each other at the worst moments. Ya know?

Just food for thought.

play. Laugh. Exploring New limits

I have notices a correlation between folks who are on the evolvers bandwagon and how they tend to do things like acroyoga, poi spinning, hoola hooping, and slack lining. I think that's because the drive to consciously evolve and become better people is the same drive to becoming physically more capable. There is also a level of playfulness, not taking oneself seriously, required to have the audacity to look like an idiot in the first stages towards mastering these skills. Getting up and moving, whether to dance or to try hooping, requires a decision and proactivity, and sometimes an acknowledgment of fear that lurks beneath the comforts of sitting in the grass watching people live playfully.

Our bodies are vessels for movement. Many times we are unconscious of our limits and thus never push the limits of our abilities. Yoga classes come to mind... Whereas I considered myself flexible, revealed to me are new limits and thus a new aim comes into view. It's an infinite adventure. Most people live under the assumption that as you age your body declines and becomes stiff and prone to injury. Realizing that there are limits to my flexibility I feel I have been granted Time to improve. Six years from now my body will be at a rising peak and when I am fifty it's possible I won't look very old.. I see elders that are vibrant and keep them in mind as examples.
They are eating raw foods, exercising, getting massages, stretching, existing playfully, laughing a lot, dancing a lot... That will be me!

Here is a study I remember from college: elders who associated aging with words like "crippled, decline, feeble," etc. Lost their hearing quicker than people who associated aging with words like "wisdom, golden years" etc. So, what do You think of aging? What images come to mind? How did your parents and grandparents model this process for you, and what will you take from them, or do differently?

How seriously do you take yourself? Or rather, how often do you catch yourself taking yourself too seriously? Its not so straigtforward recognizing when its a'happenin. Its great when someone else points it out to you, so you can start by looking for signs of it in others and then seeing how you sometimes show up in the same way.

How freely do you dance and/or play?How highly do to value dance and play?

Do you laugh every day?laughter is even physically healthy (not just mentally and emotionally) because your body receives extra oxygen. And since oxygen in our atmosphere and in our water has decreased astonishing amounts in the last century, getting oxygen into our blood may be worth putting our effort into! Breathing unconsciously, without practice, usually produces shallow breaths.

So do you laugh often? Don't feel bad or get defensive if you don't. There is no need and you are taking yourself too seriously again!! Hahahehehihihoho!!

We can all start right now, by taking a tiny step and seeing this possibility in our future, that we laugh every day with our full belly cackling laughs, maybe for no reason but being goofy. Maybe there is a laughter Yoga meetup near you. We can also begin to see ourselves dancing skipping or cartwheeling with the freedom of our given bodies. If we intend to become such a character, and revisit the vision on occasion, we are bound to become it! Loosey goosey, happy laughing!

Missing and Loving

I hate missing people. I can't stand that feeling, the gaping hole in my stomach that feels like sickness and incredible lack.

i hate it i hate it i hate it! and with that hate i am resisting it.

So here is the solution:

1. I am incredibly grateful that this person exists
2. I am incredibly grateful that this person is in my life, maybe not in the present moment, but in the great scheme of life we are and have been and will be intertwined.
3. We cannot possess anyone. We are doomed to be separate. I accept that, and happily await death, when our consciousness can merge {or something}
4. repeat steps 1 through 3.

Gratefulness

Its not possible to be grateful for some things, like untimely death, war, disparity in wealth and opportunities, and so on... And i haven't found it possible to be grateful all the time. I have it in my mind that 'i should be more grateful.' Every day it is my practice to try and see the gift in things, in people, in situations, and it can be tiresome, especially when i'm not feeling it...

But the it pays off! I mean, it builds up, rather, and it eventually overflows in authentic true thankfulness. Its a practice i highly recommend to anyone wishing to experience joy and... grace.

My friend had a quote in her living room that said 'there is always something to be grateful for... always" and yes, mentally, intellectually, you can always make a list

i'm grateful for water, for air, for great food, for supportive parents, for a healthy child, for my future opportunities, for my past mistakes from which i've learned, for the mistakes i'll make in the future from which i'll learn, for my future successes, for my past successes, for this planet, for my friends, for the people i will meet, et cetera in finitum

But the feeling is what i'm really after. The above mentioned are simply content-material, intended to provoke a feeling. For example, i can provoke sadness by telling you a story about a man and a woman who met when they were young, fell in love, got married, and were planning to spend the rest of their life together until the man suddenly died of a heart attack at the young age of 28 leaving his pregnant wife behind as a widow. Or i can provoke anger by telling you about injustices of the world. But the content is not necessarily effective if its .... just not the right time to feel grateful, angry, or sad, or whatever emotion is trying to be provoked. You know this from crusaders for jesus or Peta warriors who try to provoke you, but you're heartspace is nowhere close to theirs, and so all their provocations draw out is cynical scoffs.

In the same way, my daily attempt at trying to provoke gratitude can be met by my Self with frustration or a 'god this is not working' type of cynicism.

But when those moments come, i'd like to remind my self and anyone who relates to this, that 'this too shall pass.' Maybe time will teach us to trust in that mantra more and more, and we are still too young to comprehend the effects of Time. But regardless, we know it to be at least an intellectual truth, and that can be a powerful purpose to a mantra (tools for the mind, i think it translates...)

So keep on tugging along, and you will reach the top of that hill and the outpour of thankfulness and gratefulness and joy will come.

Fourth Awakening

I just read this book last week, and its available as a free download from FourthAwakening.com.

Reading this book has potential to expedites the process of awakening, if you are into that sorta stuff :) I'm still falling in and out of the old programming of my mind and would really love more support in this area.'this book was nice for that, giving me some friends in this battle against my own programs, as well as providing some insights and new language.

In the future maybe I will add some significant exerpts but for now I'll just leave it here...

Wake Up -the movie

Watch the trailer here

This film is about a normal guy who starts seeing things that we don't normally see.