more than this

he moth flew into teh fire and burned to death, and Grace said "And that's why we dominate this planet, and not moths." but i realized that there could be things living around us that don't notice our existence, whose existence we also cannot perceive. Like a rock, moving so slowly, not perceiving us humans moving so incredibly fast, and us not noticign their imperceptible movements through time and space.

There could be a whole other world beyond the dimensions perceptible to us. Like i was saying earlier: what if we could see all the wavelengths? What if the visible spectrum was much braoder so we could see microwaves, macrowaves, gamma waves,.... x rays... uv rays... electromagnetic fields etcetera. There could be a completely different world going on there which we have been trying to figure out what they are, but they just exist beyond our perception... Things such as instant connections, or deja vu, or dreams that seem so real that they must have happened in another universe.

The possibilities in the universe are infinite, literally. If you feel regret for having missed a connection, for example, if you're moving to san francisco just when you fell in love with something, then at least you could imagine that in a different world, it did go that way.. and for some reason this way just works better? The infinite other possibilities were all the stuff that could go wrong, like you had a child and he resented you for having the child for the rest of your miserable lives, and so you ended up living a hell on earth. Or you moved to san francisco and got addicted to cocaine, another hell on earth. Or you went nuts with schizophrenia and became delusional and unrelatable when discussing metaphysical matters.

Communication is incredibly important in the exploration of all this cosmic primordial mess... otherwise you run the fear of spinning out of control. Good, itnelligent, emotionally aware peopl are very important, lest i go insane.

i heard rumors of gatherings, of "like-minded individuals." as if that meant something in particular. I think somethings going to happen soon, or maybe its already happening and i'm just catching wind of this amazing thing, like it's been around for ... forever.

but forever is unimagineable to my little life. I like to, lately, say ironic things such as "In my whole life i have NEVER EVER experienced something like this!" to very little things, such as reading craigslist ads out loud on a porch or doing dramatic readings of missed connection stories.

Many signs have been pointing to me having to overcome my self-doubt. Its been shown to me in the form of palm readings, strangers on skateboards, my journals, horoscopes, and thought. Its true, i have to get rid of my fear and doubt... about everything. I dont trust in the spiritual world at all. I'm afraid of going delusional, of losign touch with reality, but that reality is incredibly tempting, incredibly beautiful, and so ful of love how could i turn it down? i toculdn't possibly be a bad thing........

..... could it?