Have you ever read something 'innovative' and thought, "well, its about time. I can't believe this hasn't done yet!" Well, I've had a lot of those moments in the last few years, but I just had a revelation while reading this article on conservation. In the article there is mention of an attitude in conservation in africa that has existed where "officials evict locals to create parks, which deprives them of their livelihood, as herding livestock, farming and hunting require land on which to do so. This sends the message that the government and international conservation community value wildlife more than people, naturally breeding resentment towards conservation." That old thought "its about time" suggested itself into my mind, but instead, a revelation about the thought itself occurred to me...
Actions move slower through time than our thoughts do. When undesirable actions become a trend in humanity, and a more intelligent, co-operative thoughtform reacts against it, it may take years for it to manifest as a new way of doing something.
Patience and trust is key. Thinking about my own personal life and how difficult it seems to accomplish outwardly tasks, its not such a stretch to see how slow-moving the rest of humanity could be. The "its about time" scoffing is a reflection of my contempt for my own slow pace in achieving the dreams that are important to me.
In other spiritual news, Eka Joti of the league of visionary awesomeness reminded me of the chakra charging exercises that will accelerate manifestation. He, himself, has manifested a website, videos, protocols, and clients, in the two years that i've known him. I'm inspired and impressed.
Also, community acupuncture has caught on in my own local hood.
Speaking of inspiration and impression, conversations are taking place about awakening and spiritual practices and how our inner shift is reflecting the external shift. Terry Patten is hosting calls with visionaries, scientists, psychologists, yogis, and philosophers.
And flowers are sprouting up in cracks in the pavement and medicine grows freely on green lawns across the country. Hooray! The future is coming!
Thursday 1 December 2011
Thursday 24 November 2011
Thanksgiving
I am saying grinchy things on Facebook, and it's because my FRIENDS are participating in the hype of black Friday. Thanksgiving is okay, minus the turkey massacre and obligatory gluttony. It's still okay because family travels to be together, reunited and keeping bonds together that otherwise would frill away with time and distance.
But black Friday is a recent phenomenon on my radar and it's disgusting. I am not often repulsed like this and it shows me where I need to work some acceptance and compassion into my being, but, but, but...
Let's pretend everything is fine and keep shopping. Let's pretend everyone has a job and the world is fed and that the worlds resources are going to last forever and there aren't any lifestyle changes to be made. Let's stick to tradition even though we don't even really enjoy the taste of turkey in relation to how many hours it takes to prepare it!
Okay. Outrage exorcized.
I am finding myself in a moment of disbelief, similar to my Halloween revelations. I live my daily life struggling towards integrity. I don't watch tv much so I'm not tuned into the state of the world. But when reality of society and the zeitgeist we are in become revealed to me through the trickles of media that I am exposed to, I enter into a state of temporary shock and fear at what this planets inhabitants have become. The dominating species has become a bubbling murmuring mumbling drone of collective shufflers shuffling resources back and forth in a mechanized hurdling forth, like a destructive force with only sparks of light and creativity popping up beneath the asphalt of civilIzation.
Let's turn our attention now to that spark and lift of creativity and envision it catching on. Let's pay attention to the demonstrating protesters occupying the world steadily, and the various innovations that lead to easier, more efficient output of creativity, with more sharing and more access to helpful information, and the increased abundance and life expectancy and whatnot... And let's contrast it to the simultaneous increase in anxiety obesity depression suicide and incarceration. Then, without wanting to go further into the darkness again I am going to pull my hope strings to lift the future into view.
Perhaps an easy transition, or perhaps instigated by a catastrophe. Perhaps the weather destroys us, and we are surprised at the strength of mother natures wrath, but inevitably, the dinosaur bones are used up and no longer fuel our colectively obsessively consumptive lifestyles. Sure, smart And dedicated people have invented technology that allows us to keep using the Internet and have personal transportation, but everything looks different. Zombies aren't driving to work on a freeway packed with cars. Refrigerated trucks aren't hauling packaged foods to supermarkets with fluorescent, awful lighting and plastic Christmas decorations. No, it looks rathe different in this future vision of mine.
Neighbors obviously know each other and occasionally depend on each other for something like childcare or companionship. Catholic neighbors hang out with their hippie neighbors and find commonality in their children, their hopes, and dreams. Food is grown locally and work doesn't involve commuting, nor does it involve menial tasks in abstracted reality, but are mostly the workings of a slow, daily life. The hustle and bussle of our current reality is transferred to a hustle to provide for the rest of humanity, the poor folks under tyrannical rule in relatively far away countries, but because of technological advances, the other side of the planet is a hop, skip and a jump away. A three day journey used to get Jefferson across the state of Virginia. We can get to bumfuck china these days!)
So there. My time is up
But black Friday is a recent phenomenon on my radar and it's disgusting. I am not often repulsed like this and it shows me where I need to work some acceptance and compassion into my being, but, but, but...
Let's pretend everything is fine and keep shopping. Let's pretend everyone has a job and the world is fed and that the worlds resources are going to last forever and there aren't any lifestyle changes to be made. Let's stick to tradition even though we don't even really enjoy the taste of turkey in relation to how many hours it takes to prepare it!
Okay. Outrage exorcized.
I am finding myself in a moment of disbelief, similar to my Halloween revelations. I live my daily life struggling towards integrity. I don't watch tv much so I'm not tuned into the state of the world. But when reality of society and the zeitgeist we are in become revealed to me through the trickles of media that I am exposed to, I enter into a state of temporary shock and fear at what this planets inhabitants have become. The dominating species has become a bubbling murmuring mumbling drone of collective shufflers shuffling resources back and forth in a mechanized hurdling forth, like a destructive force with only sparks of light and creativity popping up beneath the asphalt of civilIzation.
Let's turn our attention now to that spark and lift of creativity and envision it catching on. Let's pay attention to the demonstrating protesters occupying the world steadily, and the various innovations that lead to easier, more efficient output of creativity, with more sharing and more access to helpful information, and the increased abundance and life expectancy and whatnot... And let's contrast it to the simultaneous increase in anxiety obesity depression suicide and incarceration. Then, without wanting to go further into the darkness again I am going to pull my hope strings to lift the future into view.
Perhaps an easy transition, or perhaps instigated by a catastrophe. Perhaps the weather destroys us, and we are surprised at the strength of mother natures wrath, but inevitably, the dinosaur bones are used up and no longer fuel our colectively obsessively consumptive lifestyles. Sure, smart And dedicated people have invented technology that allows us to keep using the Internet and have personal transportation, but everything looks different. Zombies aren't driving to work on a freeway packed with cars. Refrigerated trucks aren't hauling packaged foods to supermarkets with fluorescent, awful lighting and plastic Christmas decorations. No, it looks rathe different in this future vision of mine.
Neighbors obviously know each other and occasionally depend on each other for something like childcare or companionship. Catholic neighbors hang out with their hippie neighbors and find commonality in their children, their hopes, and dreams. Food is grown locally and work doesn't involve commuting, nor does it involve menial tasks in abstracted reality, but are mostly the workings of a slow, daily life. The hustle and bussle of our current reality is transferred to a hustle to provide for the rest of humanity, the poor folks under tyrannical rule in relatively far away countries, but because of technological advances, the other side of the planet is a hop, skip and a jump away. A three day journey used to get Jefferson across the state of Virginia. We can get to bumfuck china these days!)
So there. My time is up
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Ideal Hallow's Eve
I'm in the suburbs this year. Stark constrast to last years Reclaiming spiral dance in golden gate park of san francisco with the wiccan community, where i cried and was reborn and rebirthed and integrated into the cycle of life, death and the seasons. The suburban halloween was filled with "gotta go to safeway and buy candy" and an invite to a block party where they serve cider and donuts... Which is nice and all, but missing the point, i'm sure. There were frankensteins hanging from trees, grave stones, and witches who'd flown their broomsticks into roofs. Nice decorations, but still, missing some point...
I talked with a catholic african woman today who was babysitting two blondies, and i really like this woman, despite her archaic language regarding the spirit world. She asked me if i celebrated halloween this year, and i said that my son was asleep from 5 to 7, so i did not, but i mentioned that i love this time of year. I dropped a hint that i was open to discussing this further by mentioning the reason that i love this time of year, being that the veils between the worlds are thin.
She said that halloween focuses on evil things, and so when her children were younger she would dress them as angels instead of skeletons and witches. We talked about darkness and light for a while, but this evening as i envisioned next year's halloween, i came up with further ideas on how to celebrate Better.
Leading up to our doorstep i would like to have a memorial shrine to all our ancestors where visitors can contribute if they would like to commemorate someone who died. I would also like to commemorate those who were born recently. I would commemorate my grandmother who died before my son was born, and i would also commemorate my friends baby who died a month after she was born last november.
I would offer the parents cider and mead, and the children would get oatmeal raisin cookies, or chocolate chip cookies, or cinammon+sugar cookies. Yummy. And i would dress in costume, of course. I'd probably be a witch. I love witch fashion. But i may decide to be a fairy. I like fairy fashion, too.
I hope that by infusing the suburbs with just a little bit of Thought regarding the sacred possibilities of this Time of Year, and commorating the cycles of life and the seasons, that we can move beyond the superficialities of consumer culture that permeats suburbia.
I talked with a catholic african woman today who was babysitting two blondies, and i really like this woman, despite her archaic language regarding the spirit world. She asked me if i celebrated halloween this year, and i said that my son was asleep from 5 to 7, so i did not, but i mentioned that i love this time of year. I dropped a hint that i was open to discussing this further by mentioning the reason that i love this time of year, being that the veils between the worlds are thin.
She said that halloween focuses on evil things, and so when her children were younger she would dress them as angels instead of skeletons and witches. We talked about darkness and light for a while, but this evening as i envisioned next year's halloween, i came up with further ideas on how to celebrate Better.
Leading up to our doorstep i would like to have a memorial shrine to all our ancestors where visitors can contribute if they would like to commemorate someone who died. I would also like to commemorate those who were born recently. I would commemorate my grandmother who died before my son was born, and i would also commemorate my friends baby who died a month after she was born last november.
I would offer the parents cider and mead, and the children would get oatmeal raisin cookies, or chocolate chip cookies, or cinammon+sugar cookies. Yummy. And i would dress in costume, of course. I'd probably be a witch. I love witch fashion. But i may decide to be a fairy. I like fairy fashion, too.
I hope that by infusing the suburbs with just a little bit of Thought regarding the sacred possibilities of this Time of Year, and commorating the cycles of life and the seasons, that we can move beyond the superficialities of consumer culture that permeats suburbia.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
On establishing a Stable Reality!!!
So in my quest for stable reality, i have gotten two useful perspectives to ponder:
First, a Ted converence video of a presentation given by dr eagleman
whereby he advises me to hold multiple perspectives
and secondly, a commencement speech given by somebody somewhere sent to me by an old friend...It points to how the way in which we construct reality is a choice. personal, intentional choice.
I've always known that to be true and thus have always carefully constructed my realities. I've chosen friends based on the reality i wanted to create, and have taken on beliefs about morality based on what i wanted to become.
Both the video and the speech advise me to be open minded. In the speech, the writer suggests that the liberal arts institution teaching you 'how to think' is more about teaching you how to exercise control over how and what you think, of being aware enough to consciously choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience.
So here's my favorite quote: (after suggesting new ways of seeing the banal, via describing how the person in the hummer who cut you off may be rushing to the hospital because his child is injured, or how the woman who yelled at her kid in the checkout aisle is actually the person who helped your spouse in some beaurocratic act of kindness...)
Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible. It just depends what you want to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down. Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.
Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.
So i have more to say about this, but i am suddenly inspired to give my momma a massage because she deserves it and i need to be of service.
First, a Ted converence video of a presentation given by dr eagleman
whereby he advises me to hold multiple perspectives
and secondly, a commencement speech given by somebody somewhere sent to me by an old friend...It points to how the way in which we construct reality is a choice. personal, intentional choice.
I've always known that to be true and thus have always carefully constructed my realities. I've chosen friends based on the reality i wanted to create, and have taken on beliefs about morality based on what i wanted to become.
Both the video and the speech advise me to be open minded. In the speech, the writer suggests that the liberal arts institution teaching you 'how to think' is more about teaching you how to exercise control over how and what you think, of being aware enough to consciously choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience.
So here's my favorite quote: (after suggesting new ways of seeing the banal, via describing how the person in the hummer who cut you off may be rushing to the hospital because his child is injured, or how the woman who yelled at her kid in the checkout aisle is actually the person who helped your spouse in some beaurocratic act of kindness...)
Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible. It just depends what you want to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down. Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.
Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.
So i have more to say about this, but i am suddenly inspired to give my momma a massage because she deserves it and i need to be of service.
Friday 26 August 2011
urgent
Quick, somebody, please explain reality to me!
i seem to be a little lost. There was an earthquake on the east coast, and now an impending disastrous hurricane. I was under the impression that the earth was changing rapidly, and that soon would come a tipping point where our mode of existence would transform into a more earth-friendly, sustainable, harmonious lifestyle. I had been focusing on the post-apocalyptic lifestyle, and hadn't thought enough about the transition period.
No, i'm not scared.
ok, i'm a little nervous, but i'm also confused about whether or not all of that is really happening! The future is unknown, otherwise it wouldn't be any fun, but angels, give me a hint!!! i know you already gave me one, but give me another one, please!!
I have felt like i've just been waiting around for all of this to happen. I must be serving some sort of purpose, doing nothing for these past two years and cocooning in a way. I sure hope i can be useful.
Oh yes, i forgot to sleep. i'm going to go do that. erghhh i keep saying that, but when will i get up and go to bed? its only midnight, but doesn't that mean i could technically sleep? Oh yes, the reason i should go to sleep is because in dreamland thats where i get the answers. I really don't appreciate dreams enough. gotta work on that and get more slumbers.
i seem to be a little lost. There was an earthquake on the east coast, and now an impending disastrous hurricane. I was under the impression that the earth was changing rapidly, and that soon would come a tipping point where our mode of existence would transform into a more earth-friendly, sustainable, harmonious lifestyle. I had been focusing on the post-apocalyptic lifestyle, and hadn't thought enough about the transition period.
No, i'm not scared.
ok, i'm a little nervous, but i'm also confused about whether or not all of that is really happening! The future is unknown, otherwise it wouldn't be any fun, but angels, give me a hint!!! i know you already gave me one, but give me another one, please!!
I have felt like i've just been waiting around for all of this to happen. I must be serving some sort of purpose, doing nothing for these past two years and cocooning in a way. I sure hope i can be useful.
Oh yes, i forgot to sleep. i'm going to go do that. erghhh i keep saying that, but when will i get up and go to bed? its only midnight, but doesn't that mean i could technically sleep? Oh yes, the reason i should go to sleep is because in dreamland thats where i get the answers. I really don't appreciate dreams enough. gotta work on that and get more slumbers.
Tuesday 23 August 2011
Dear Emerald
"Dear divine Emerald,
I am having conflicting emotions about stepping into my power. I see myself being of great service to people by being a doula, a yoga instructor, a babysitter, and could learn so much from working in a local nursery or CSI. Sometimes i beat myself up about being lazy and selfish. Whats wrong with me!? Sometimes I think to myself (and i’m not sure if its an excuse for inaction) that its okay to Just Be, and that i’m learning how to simply exist without being constantly driven to do things. I’m wondering if this is in reaction to our Doing culture, and my inaction is just a reaction, not a practice that i’m partaking in out of integrity towards an ideal. I also tell myself that it will all happen in due time, but how long will i say that? Until i’m sick of it? What if i die beforehand? last time i brushed hands with death the realization was that i hadn’t done anything, and i don’t want to die having done nothing. I’ve been witnessed! If i die having done nothing i might not be forgiven.
Conflictedly,
Dear"
Well, Dear, perhaps you have been told that you are lazy and selfish by a few people and you have started to believe it. You are comfortable, and don’t need anything. You have all you need. But not all you want. Its okay to want, because that feeling is a self-actualizing motivator towards action. You want to be around people. You want to feel useful. You feel you have a lot to offer and can be helpful to people who could use you and perhaps even need you and your specific combination of skills and strengths!
It is good to simply be, but inaction and being are separate. If you are doing nothing yet distracted and not disciplining your mind towards peace, joy, and quietude, you may as well be hurriedly moving towards distant goals like a capitalist zombie. Whatever you do, do it fully. Be inactive fully, without distraction. If that doesn’t suit you, Do! If “how you do anything is how you do everything,” then how you do Nondoing is how you will do Doing. Practice one-pointedness and mindfulness, even in your nondoing. Don’t be bored, uninspired, or distracted from it. Its much easier said than done, so forgive yourself for your past distractions, and whenever it comes up, forgive yourself and remind yourself that its a practice and you can create good habits in your existence that can lead to integrating the ideals you strive for.
I cannot speak for death because I am sure that whatever i think i know about it, there is potential to be surprised by it, in good ways and bad ways. Perhaps it is all forgiving as christians say, but perhaps it is wrathful, like christians say! So nondoing may be forgiven but its possible that you’ve been warned and witnessed against nondoing and that its a vice you must overcome in your lifetime. What do you think and feel?
Its august. You have five months until you start school. You’ve been in this house for three months. What can you accomplish in five months? You could get a job, with purpose and usefulness, as a yogi, finding a babysitter for those hours during the week when you are teaching. You can volunteer at the local nursery, learning about plants and how to teach... If you felt like it. You could even just do that for a few hours, interviewing the master gardeners for what their time is worth and then dipping out when you’ve had enough. You can begin to build a network with midwives and doula’s, creating connections and attracting ‘clients’ or whatever, and maybe if a birth beckons and calls to you, you can leave the babe with your mother in that emergency moment, and be with the woman, or you can even take echo with you and get a babysitter on call or something!
Don’t let your child be an excuse for inaction. You can do whatever you want, even with a child. You have the money for a babysitter and you have the need and desire for usefulness beyond motherhood.
So what is my advice to me in the next few moments?
Follow your feet. You don’t know what is right for you right now, and you are afraid of getting in too deep. Heed that fear, and take on little by little and see how it feels. A yoga class once a week isn’t too much, but maybe a yoga class and volunteering in the nursery is too much to jump into right now. So, heed that fear.
You won’t ever be completely stagnant, so don’t worry about that. You might feel more stagnant that you’d like to be, and that’s fine, but don’t bother thinking you’re lazy and not pulling your weight unless someone distinctly tells you so. Follow your inclinations, and if that starts and ends with planting a few flowers, that’s maybe all there is in the stars for now. Your significance does not lie in what you do, but in what you represent and emanate. The joy and happiness you bring to people has little to do with what you Do, but more to do with what you Are, and you are divine and you radiate it at least a third of the time.
So go to sleep, dear. Its almost 3am, and noone can radiate when sleep-deprived.
I am having conflicting emotions about stepping into my power. I see myself being of great service to people by being a doula, a yoga instructor, a babysitter, and could learn so much from working in a local nursery or CSI. Sometimes i beat myself up about being lazy and selfish. Whats wrong with me!? Sometimes I think to myself (and i’m not sure if its an excuse for inaction) that its okay to Just Be, and that i’m learning how to simply exist without being constantly driven to do things. I’m wondering if this is in reaction to our Doing culture, and my inaction is just a reaction, not a practice that i’m partaking in out of integrity towards an ideal. I also tell myself that it will all happen in due time, but how long will i say that? Until i’m sick of it? What if i die beforehand? last time i brushed hands with death the realization was that i hadn’t done anything, and i don’t want to die having done nothing. I’ve been witnessed! If i die having done nothing i might not be forgiven.
Conflictedly,
Dear"
Well, Dear, perhaps you have been told that you are lazy and selfish by a few people and you have started to believe it. You are comfortable, and don’t need anything. You have all you need. But not all you want. Its okay to want, because that feeling is a self-actualizing motivator towards action. You want to be around people. You want to feel useful. You feel you have a lot to offer and can be helpful to people who could use you and perhaps even need you and your specific combination of skills and strengths!
It is good to simply be, but inaction and being are separate. If you are doing nothing yet distracted and not disciplining your mind towards peace, joy, and quietude, you may as well be hurriedly moving towards distant goals like a capitalist zombie. Whatever you do, do it fully. Be inactive fully, without distraction. If that doesn’t suit you, Do! If “how you do anything is how you do everything,” then how you do Nondoing is how you will do Doing. Practice one-pointedness and mindfulness, even in your nondoing. Don’t be bored, uninspired, or distracted from it. Its much easier said than done, so forgive yourself for your past distractions, and whenever it comes up, forgive yourself and remind yourself that its a practice and you can create good habits in your existence that can lead to integrating the ideals you strive for.
I cannot speak for death because I am sure that whatever i think i know about it, there is potential to be surprised by it, in good ways and bad ways. Perhaps it is all forgiving as christians say, but perhaps it is wrathful, like christians say! So nondoing may be forgiven but its possible that you’ve been warned and witnessed against nondoing and that its a vice you must overcome in your lifetime. What do you think and feel?
Its august. You have five months until you start school. You’ve been in this house for three months. What can you accomplish in five months? You could get a job, with purpose and usefulness, as a yogi, finding a babysitter for those hours during the week when you are teaching. You can volunteer at the local nursery, learning about plants and how to teach... If you felt like it. You could even just do that for a few hours, interviewing the master gardeners for what their time is worth and then dipping out when you’ve had enough. You can begin to build a network with midwives and doula’s, creating connections and attracting ‘clients’ or whatever, and maybe if a birth beckons and calls to you, you can leave the babe with your mother in that emergency moment, and be with the woman, or you can even take echo with you and get a babysitter on call or something!
Don’t let your child be an excuse for inaction. You can do whatever you want, even with a child. You have the money for a babysitter and you have the need and desire for usefulness beyond motherhood.
So what is my advice to me in the next few moments?
Follow your feet. You don’t know what is right for you right now, and you are afraid of getting in too deep. Heed that fear, and take on little by little and see how it feels. A yoga class once a week isn’t too much, but maybe a yoga class and volunteering in the nursery is too much to jump into right now. So, heed that fear.
You won’t ever be completely stagnant, so don’t worry about that. You might feel more stagnant that you’d like to be, and that’s fine, but don’t bother thinking you’re lazy and not pulling your weight unless someone distinctly tells you so. Follow your inclinations, and if that starts and ends with planting a few flowers, that’s maybe all there is in the stars for now. Your significance does not lie in what you do, but in what you represent and emanate. The joy and happiness you bring to people has little to do with what you Do, but more to do with what you Are, and you are divine and you radiate it at least a third of the time.
So go to sleep, dear. Its almost 3am, and noone can radiate when sleep-deprived.
Saturday 20 August 2011
joy and shittiness
Sorrow and depression and grief used to be intolerable to me. This past week I have been feeling all of that, though for no articulated reason. I posited to the moon that perhaps ti was just the capacity to feel grief and sorrow that i was aware of, but wasn't actually feeling it, just empathizing with the feeling.
There's an existential feeling of purposelessness that is permeating my life right now. Day in and day out. But unlike before where that feeling would really depress me and knock me out, I'm just floating through it. I think i've been educated enough through life to know that its temporary, and because of my familiarity with intense purpose-fulness and joy i know it'll just cycle back to that eventually.
I was just watching Lost, a show where the characters are in constant adrenaline and excitement and fighting for survival. I used to think if i ever found myself in that situation i would kill myself because i'd be unable to stand that fear. Now i realize that the base survival is excitement and purposeful, and should the world fall into disarray, i would not end my life and i would fight to survive. Not because i'm afraid of death, because i very much am looking forward to that in an inspired sort of way... but because i'm alive now, and will eventually die, and if such excitement should come my way (i'm thinking about this fall, when Nibiru, the red kachina, or the super massive dwarf star mentioned in the Quickening comes back and does something strange to our reality) then i shall go with it. And this purposeless feeling that i'm enwrapped in right now, well i'm taking note of it, because i know how suddenly things can change.
Yin and Yang cannot exist independently of one another. These two feelings are in relation to one another. This feeling serves its purpose. And i really dislike being in the midst of it because its making me a shitty mother. and i hope it passes soon.
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
There's an existential feeling of purposelessness that is permeating my life right now. Day in and day out. But unlike before where that feeling would really depress me and knock me out, I'm just floating through it. I think i've been educated enough through life to know that its temporary, and because of my familiarity with intense purpose-fulness and joy i know it'll just cycle back to that eventually.
I was just watching Lost, a show where the characters are in constant adrenaline and excitement and fighting for survival. I used to think if i ever found myself in that situation i would kill myself because i'd be unable to stand that fear. Now i realize that the base survival is excitement and purposeful, and should the world fall into disarray, i would not end my life and i would fight to survive. Not because i'm afraid of death, because i very much am looking forward to that in an inspired sort of way... but because i'm alive now, and will eventually die, and if such excitement should come my way (i'm thinking about this fall, when Nibiru, the red kachina, or the super massive dwarf star mentioned in the Quickening comes back and does something strange to our reality) then i shall go with it. And this purposeless feeling that i'm enwrapped in right now, well i'm taking note of it, because i know how suddenly things can change.
Yin and Yang cannot exist independently of one another. These two feelings are in relation to one another. This feeling serves its purpose. And i really dislike being in the midst of it because its making me a shitty mother. and i hope it passes soon.
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Wednesday 17 August 2011
the quickening
http://vimeo.com/awakeningasone/the-quickening
Physicists have discovered that, whereas they previously believed the big bang would slow down, it is in actuality speeding up. Ancient mayan wisdom (because it turned out to be true) watched the sky and deduced the very same thing, that around this time, there would be a 'quickening.' thats what this film is exploring.
The law of attraction (from The Secret) is a tool to explore using consciousness and imagination to create a certain reality. This documentary implants a harmonious existence as a new beginning during this quickening/shift of the ages.
Will the shift happen in the outer world, or will ti be collectively happening within us in an increase of enlightened individuals?
Has the world really shifted into duality? Is our world generally pretty dualistic? Is the 'other' mentality very strong? Personally, i don't feel that way, but i can observe it in others. How much of my perception is a projection?
"So many are living for material achievements and survival." I know this, certainly. The big houses and picket fences, the SUVs, the facebook profiles and MySpace phenomena, the music videos, the sex and alcohol obsessions and bling attractions... That stuff is huge. Is media a good gauge of what is popular and collective? Its hard to tell now with the internet. Who reads what i read?
Whats going to happen october 28th 2011? Hmm. Thats in two months and ten days!! Thats the date the documentary says. In my worldview, this shift thats happening was going to take 70 to 100 years, because thats the time it has taken in the past to fully integrate a paradigm shift. But since they call it the 'quickening' perhaps this time around it will go... quicker...
I like this part. In 1755 at the beginning of the industrial age consciousness began shifting every 19.5 days, and after january 5th 1999 it began shifting every three hundred something days, and thats why there have been generation gaps... thats why the idea that women were equal, it took a while to sink in.
I have, indeed, noticed, the lack of generation gaps now. Relationships between 24 year olds and 40 something year olds aren't so strange. The internet was a huge quickening because a thought can be shot around the world and across generations immediately. The amount of change and information we're able to process is accelerating.
Since the time of the japanese earthquake consciousness has began shifting every 18 days according to this film, which i have also noticed. I'm having transformative days and nights more than each full moon. They say this will happen until october 28th of this day at which point we'll attain unity consciousness.
Maybe i'll stay in san francisco til that time. then i can catch the october 31st celebrations and the reclaiming spiral dance in san francisco. that might be a possibility...
At 40 minutes the film gets into Political wars, existing and theoretical. Its scar, but totally realistic and reasonable. I really don't like the fear, but this is useful to watch and prepare for, so i tapped (EFT) on the fear. Then i was pleasantly surprised with their next point, that i also just read in the Tao Te Ching, that the good and evil are both within us, are all within the Tao of existence, and that we need not separate them and instead see the unity. If we can learn to see those who are dark or evil are actually serving us by providing us with experiences that are essential... Rumi says "out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there. when the soul lies down there in the grass the world is too full to talk about, even the phrase 'each other' does not make sense."
Thus, i find the usefulness of feeling the fear that the film provoked within me, so that i can prepare for the future when those same fears are provoked once more...
Okay. now its 5am, and i'm getting sleepy. I hope to dream good dreams now. I have noticed, and have not adjusted to the idea though my body seems to have adjusted anyway, that i need less sleep. I napped for an hour or two earlier today, which may explain my altered sleep schedule, but it feels like its beyond that.
one of the symptoms of the quickening, methinks.
Physicists have discovered that, whereas they previously believed the big bang would slow down, it is in actuality speeding up. Ancient mayan wisdom (because it turned out to be true) watched the sky and deduced the very same thing, that around this time, there would be a 'quickening.' thats what this film is exploring.
The law of attraction (from The Secret) is a tool to explore using consciousness and imagination to create a certain reality. This documentary implants a harmonious existence as a new beginning during this quickening/shift of the ages.
Will the shift happen in the outer world, or will ti be collectively happening within us in an increase of enlightened individuals?
Has the world really shifted into duality? Is our world generally pretty dualistic? Is the 'other' mentality very strong? Personally, i don't feel that way, but i can observe it in others. How much of my perception is a projection?
"So many are living for material achievements and survival." I know this, certainly. The big houses and picket fences, the SUVs, the facebook profiles and MySpace phenomena, the music videos, the sex and alcohol obsessions and bling attractions... That stuff is huge. Is media a good gauge of what is popular and collective? Its hard to tell now with the internet. Who reads what i read?
Whats going to happen october 28th 2011? Hmm. Thats in two months and ten days!! Thats the date the documentary says. In my worldview, this shift thats happening was going to take 70 to 100 years, because thats the time it has taken in the past to fully integrate a paradigm shift. But since they call it the 'quickening' perhaps this time around it will go... quicker...
I like this part. In 1755 at the beginning of the industrial age consciousness began shifting every 19.5 days, and after january 5th 1999 it began shifting every three hundred something days, and thats why there have been generation gaps... thats why the idea that women were equal, it took a while to sink in.
I have, indeed, noticed, the lack of generation gaps now. Relationships between 24 year olds and 40 something year olds aren't so strange. The internet was a huge quickening because a thought can be shot around the world and across generations immediately. The amount of change and information we're able to process is accelerating.
Since the time of the japanese earthquake consciousness has began shifting every 18 days according to this film, which i have also noticed. I'm having transformative days and nights more than each full moon. They say this will happen until october 28th of this day at which point we'll attain unity consciousness.
Maybe i'll stay in san francisco til that time. then i can catch the october 31st celebrations and the reclaiming spiral dance in san francisco. that might be a possibility...
At 40 minutes the film gets into Political wars, existing and theoretical. Its scar, but totally realistic and reasonable. I really don't like the fear, but this is useful to watch and prepare for, so i tapped (EFT) on the fear. Then i was pleasantly surprised with their next point, that i also just read in the Tao Te Ching, that the good and evil are both within us, are all within the Tao of existence, and that we need not separate them and instead see the unity. If we can learn to see those who are dark or evil are actually serving us by providing us with experiences that are essential... Rumi says "out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there. when the soul lies down there in the grass the world is too full to talk about, even the phrase 'each other' does not make sense."
Thus, i find the usefulness of feeling the fear that the film provoked within me, so that i can prepare for the future when those same fears are provoked once more...
Okay. now its 5am, and i'm getting sleepy. I hope to dream good dreams now. I have noticed, and have not adjusted to the idea though my body seems to have adjusted anyway, that i need less sleep. I napped for an hour or two earlier today, which may explain my altered sleep schedule, but it feels like its beyond that.
one of the symptoms of the quickening, methinks.
Tuesday 16 August 2011
Dear Christopher Hitchens
Currently watching: Debate between hitchens and hitchens
Dear Mister Christopher Hitchens,
You are currently fighting cancer and though i hope you stay with us on this planet in this life for longer, we all eventually die. You have contributed greatly to the discourse that has raged for eons and your voice is very special.
I haven't read your book "God is not great: How religion poisons everything" But i get your point and i suppose i agree, but that doesn't matter at all. But in the debate at Jew U, you stated that the afterlife was an ploy for enticement for religion which traps the mind and psyche, and that since death was a one-way trip, it was impossible to know.
I watched a fascinating Biography Channel program interviewing several people who were dead for under five minutes and they described their lives. I had a similar experience myself, and am very excited to live this life fully and then to die. I'm certainly in no hurry, because perhaps i get recycled right back into life anyway. I'm not sure. But nevertheless, its not impossible to know However, that sort of knowledge can only be personal knowledge.
Also, my initial issue with your stance was resolved for me once i was able to differentiate between spiritual pursuits and religion. When you say religion poisons everything, you are referring to the dogmatic "I know this and must look no further" mentality that often accompanies the stubborn know-it-all attitude of the religiously devout.
I am not an atheist. I believe in a cosmic consciousness beyond that which we experience in our own bodies, and a frequency of love that has been named God and Allah. But though you are atheist and i am 'a believer' we both share an appreciation for the mysterious wonder of natural phenomena.
When you die, i am excited for you to experience, perhaps for the first time in your life (haha) the spiritual experience of forgiveness and love. You may think you have nothing to be forgiven for because of a strong ego and a life-long vigilance of defending your inherent worth, but we are all imperfect, selfish assholes. So in the moment you realize that you're a wretch you simultaneously feel forgiven and humbled by that immense forgiveness and feel so grateful and thankful. And as you walk up the mountain or down the red carpet or whatever imagery your Understanding builds up for you, you will feel exalted. Humbled, yet exalted.
And you will be patted on the back for how well you did, how perfectly you fulfilled your role and how courageously you moved forward.
You were raised in a time and place where the image of God was presented as an authority figure, a heavenly father who sat on a throne and punishes and warns people not to trespass and sin. And sinning was unavoidable and thus the rules set down were impossible to follow.
Based on my understanding, the bible was written in a time when Kings were the highest thing you could be. Thus God was presented as a King and a Lord. Also, the word 'sin' originally means to miss the point, like an archer missing the mark. Do you see? Oh~ But its not important to you. And thats fine! Whats important for you is to fight the injustice in the world, and to create a better world. And that is wonderful!!! You go, hitchens.
God isn't egotistical. That cosmic consciousness doesn't care if you believe in him or not. In some way or another, you do believe in god, but just give it another name . You believe that there is good in the world, and you are inspired by it. Thats all it is, silly goose.
And you're right. Getting caught up in language, story, myth, and tradition is destructive and stupid. But surely you can understand how the less spirited of us meager humans will be tempted by comforts of having solved the mysteries of the universe, and all the scariness of the unknown!
I'm sure you're much more reasonable (less black and white) in person than you are in debates. You have a great sense of humor so i'm sure we'd get along really well. I'd laugh a lot and think you were marvelous and you'd feel really great about yourself. So keep on fighting your confused cancer cells that have forgotten how to die. Another mystery, but much less wondrous.
Thanks for Everything
PS
Now i'm watching This video which addresses Morality and atheism where you ask a great question: Try to think of a moral action that cannot be said by an atheist, now try to think of an evil that can only be committed by a religious. So to say that the eradication of christianity will create chaos and immorality will take over is null and void.
Love. That.
But throughout this whole debate there is an underlying misunderstanding that seems to create tension between you and your brother. You refer to and think of 'christians' as a group and your brother (taking that personally) sees the individuals who benefit from christian thought/story/teachings. What you could do, as a brother, is to acknowledge without a follow-up joke that he'll interpret as mockery, that the bible and the teachings of jesus (which are very simple and sweet) has helped many lost and suffering individuals.
Anyway, i think its fascinating that the organization of the church is crumbling in the collective consciousness and i think thats a good thing and i think you and your thought has been an integral part of this development and i thank you.
Dear Mister Christopher Hitchens,
You are currently fighting cancer and though i hope you stay with us on this planet in this life for longer, we all eventually die. You have contributed greatly to the discourse that has raged for eons and your voice is very special.
I haven't read your book "God is not great: How religion poisons everything" But i get your point and i suppose i agree, but that doesn't matter at all. But in the debate at Jew U, you stated that the afterlife was an ploy for enticement for religion which traps the mind and psyche, and that since death was a one-way trip, it was impossible to know.
I watched a fascinating Biography Channel program interviewing several people who were dead for under five minutes and they described their lives. I had a similar experience myself, and am very excited to live this life fully and then to die. I'm certainly in no hurry, because perhaps i get recycled right back into life anyway. I'm not sure. But nevertheless, its not impossible to know However, that sort of knowledge can only be personal knowledge.
Also, my initial issue with your stance was resolved for me once i was able to differentiate between spiritual pursuits and religion. When you say religion poisons everything, you are referring to the dogmatic "I know this and must look no further" mentality that often accompanies the stubborn know-it-all attitude of the religiously devout.
I am not an atheist. I believe in a cosmic consciousness beyond that which we experience in our own bodies, and a frequency of love that has been named God and Allah. But though you are atheist and i am 'a believer' we both share an appreciation for the mysterious wonder of natural phenomena.
When you die, i am excited for you to experience, perhaps for the first time in your life (haha) the spiritual experience of forgiveness and love. You may think you have nothing to be forgiven for because of a strong ego and a life-long vigilance of defending your inherent worth, but we are all imperfect, selfish assholes. So in the moment you realize that you're a wretch you simultaneously feel forgiven and humbled by that immense forgiveness and feel so grateful and thankful. And as you walk up the mountain or down the red carpet or whatever imagery your Understanding builds up for you, you will feel exalted. Humbled, yet exalted.
And you will be patted on the back for how well you did, how perfectly you fulfilled your role and how courageously you moved forward.
You were raised in a time and place where the image of God was presented as an authority figure, a heavenly father who sat on a throne and punishes and warns people not to trespass and sin. And sinning was unavoidable and thus the rules set down were impossible to follow.
Based on my understanding, the bible was written in a time when Kings were the highest thing you could be. Thus God was presented as a King and a Lord. Also, the word 'sin' originally means to miss the point, like an archer missing the mark. Do you see? Oh~ But its not important to you. And thats fine! Whats important for you is to fight the injustice in the world, and to create a better world. And that is wonderful!!! You go, hitchens.
God isn't egotistical. That cosmic consciousness doesn't care if you believe in him or not. In some way or another, you do believe in god, but just give it another name . You believe that there is good in the world, and you are inspired by it. Thats all it is, silly goose.
And you're right. Getting caught up in language, story, myth, and tradition is destructive and stupid. But surely you can understand how the less spirited of us meager humans will be tempted by comforts of having solved the mysteries of the universe, and all the scariness of the unknown!
I'm sure you're much more reasonable (less black and white) in person than you are in debates. You have a great sense of humor so i'm sure we'd get along really well. I'd laugh a lot and think you were marvelous and you'd feel really great about yourself. So keep on fighting your confused cancer cells that have forgotten how to die. Another mystery, but much less wondrous.
Thanks for Everything
PS
Now i'm watching This video which addresses Morality and atheism where you ask a great question: Try to think of a moral action that cannot be said by an atheist, now try to think of an evil that can only be committed by a religious. So to say that the eradication of christianity will create chaos and immorality will take over is null and void.
Love. That.
But throughout this whole debate there is an underlying misunderstanding that seems to create tension between you and your brother. You refer to and think of 'christians' as a group and your brother (taking that personally) sees the individuals who benefit from christian thought/story/teachings. What you could do, as a brother, is to acknowledge without a follow-up joke that he'll interpret as mockery, that the bible and the teachings of jesus (which are very simple and sweet) has helped many lost and suffering individuals.
Anyway, i think its fascinating that the organization of the church is crumbling in the collective consciousness and i think thats a good thing and i think you and your thought has been an integral part of this development and i thank you.
Thursday 4 August 2011
willingness to believe
When we're too willing to believe in something, we can hastily conclude something which has more room to be explored. And we can close those doors to exploration.
We want to understand this reality fully. And in doing so we create a limited frame. We want to be at the finish line of comprehension, comfortably enlightened, and done.
The discomfort of Not Knowing can be unbearable sometimes. But, patience.
We may never know. I take comfort in thinking i will know, and i'll have moments of knowing even before i die. but those moments will be short lived. But again, that's just a belief that i'm holding on to, in order to create comfort.
***
We all believe (something). Whatever method we reached the temporary conclusion (hopefully temporary) doesn't matter. Scientific method, magical deduction, dowsing, googling, research, stories passed down from ancestors and culture, television, media, movies, friends, hearsay, church...
There was this study that was done... lol... that showed that participants in the study couldn't shake old information, even after learning that it was false.
That further confirms my previous thought 'I don't believe what i believe.' Its a good place to stand, because its all false, i'm sure.
***
So, I'm creating a story (consciously) (a story of beliefs, of reality) that will make me happy(happiest). I want to create a belief system that makes me joyful, enthusiastic, and inspired.
***
Therefore, I'm choosing to believe that
1. I am a goddess, we are all gods and goddesses, Little Creators, reflections/fractals of the Great Kosmos, little geometries in a bigger geometry.
2. I am a vessel for consciousness, not a generator of it. Therefore, when i die, i do not cease to exist, although my body and form ceases to exist. This inspires me (why?) because it really takes the pressure off of Time and the fleeting nature of everything.
***
I want to enjoy my life. There's nothing i can really accomplish that can make me happy on my deathbed, except to know that i was present for most of my life, not heading towards the future and not lingering in the past, but enjoying the moments when i was 24, 30, 35, 50, et cetera. I want to be here now for most, if not all of it.
***
yup
Wednesday 3 August 2011
New-Age evolutionaries, being too serious.
I really like how Jiva and Juliette of The Template phrase things, and for the most part like how they see things. Here is a video they put together summarizing their perspective. I'm not sure what to think about the government and military operations and motivations, but one thing is for certain. It doesn't matter.
Whatever is going on, Light Workers must keep at the forefront of their existence, the attitude of play. Who, under the influence of mushrooms, has realized heaven? One thing that is recurring in those moments for me, is that heaven is here and we are here to play. Little goddesses that we are, we are creators, and it is VITAL TO PLAY!!! and to be playful. And to not be so fuggin serious.
That is something that really bothered me about the new age scene in san francisco, how seriously they took each other at the worst moments. Ya know?
Just food for thought.
Whatever is going on, Light Workers must keep at the forefront of their existence, the attitude of play. Who, under the influence of mushrooms, has realized heaven? One thing that is recurring in those moments for me, is that heaven is here and we are here to play. Little goddesses that we are, we are creators, and it is VITAL TO PLAY!!! and to be playful. And to not be so fuggin serious.
That is something that really bothered me about the new age scene in san francisco, how seriously they took each other at the worst moments. Ya know?
Just food for thought.
Sunday 24 July 2011
play. Laugh. Exploring New limits
I have notices a correlation between folks who are on the evolvers bandwagon and how they tend to do things like acroyoga, poi spinning, hoola hooping, and slack lining. I think that's because the drive to consciously evolve and become better people is the same drive to becoming physically more capable. There is also a level of playfulness, not taking oneself seriously, required to have the audacity to look like an idiot in the first stages towards mastering these skills. Getting up and moving, whether to dance or to try hooping, requires a decision and proactivity, and sometimes an acknowledgment of fear that lurks beneath the comforts of sitting in the grass watching people live playfully.
Our bodies are vessels for movement. Many times we are unconscious of our limits and thus never push the limits of our abilities. Yoga classes come to mind... Whereas I considered myself flexible, revealed to me are new limits and thus a new aim comes into view. It's an infinite adventure. Most people live under the assumption that as you age your body declines and becomes stiff and prone to injury. Realizing that there are limits to my flexibility I feel I have been granted Time to improve. Six years from now my body will be at a rising peak and when I am fifty it's possible I won't look very old.. I see elders that are vibrant and keep them in mind as examples.
They are eating raw foods, exercising, getting massages, stretching, existing playfully, laughing a lot, dancing a lot... That will be me!
Here is a study I remember from college: elders who associated aging with words like "crippled, decline, feeble," etc. Lost their hearing quicker than people who associated aging with words like "wisdom, golden years" etc. So, what do You think of aging? What images come to mind? How did your parents and grandparents model this process for you, and what will you take from them, or do differently?
How seriously do you take yourself? Or rather, how often do you catch yourself taking yourself too seriously? Its not so straigtforward recognizing when its a'happenin. Its great when someone else points it out to you, so you can start by looking for signs of it in others and then seeing how you sometimes show up in the same way.
How freely do you dance and/or play?How highly do to value dance and play?
Do you laugh every day?laughter is even physically healthy (not just mentally and emotionally) because your body receives extra oxygen. And since oxygen in our atmosphere and in our water has decreased astonishing amounts in the last century, getting oxygen into our blood may be worth putting our effort into! Breathing unconsciously, without practice, usually produces shallow breaths.
So do you laugh often? Don't feel bad or get defensive if you don't. There is no need and you are taking yourself too seriously again!! Hahahehehihihoho!!
We can all start right now, by taking a tiny step and seeing this possibility in our future, that we laugh every day with our full belly cackling laughs, maybe for no reason but being goofy. Maybe there is a laughter Yoga meetup near you. We can also begin to see ourselves dancing skipping or cartwheeling with the freedom of our given bodies. If we intend to become such a character, and revisit the vision on occasion, we are bound to become it! Loosey goosey, happy laughing!
Our bodies are vessels for movement. Many times we are unconscious of our limits and thus never push the limits of our abilities. Yoga classes come to mind... Whereas I considered myself flexible, revealed to me are new limits and thus a new aim comes into view. It's an infinite adventure. Most people live under the assumption that as you age your body declines and becomes stiff and prone to injury. Realizing that there are limits to my flexibility I feel I have been granted Time to improve. Six years from now my body will be at a rising peak and when I am fifty it's possible I won't look very old.. I see elders that are vibrant and keep them in mind as examples.
They are eating raw foods, exercising, getting massages, stretching, existing playfully, laughing a lot, dancing a lot... That will be me!
Here is a study I remember from college: elders who associated aging with words like "crippled, decline, feeble," etc. Lost their hearing quicker than people who associated aging with words like "wisdom, golden years" etc. So, what do You think of aging? What images come to mind? How did your parents and grandparents model this process for you, and what will you take from them, or do differently?
How seriously do you take yourself? Or rather, how often do you catch yourself taking yourself too seriously? Its not so straigtforward recognizing when its a'happenin. Its great when someone else points it out to you, so you can start by looking for signs of it in others and then seeing how you sometimes show up in the same way.
How freely do you dance and/or play?How highly do to value dance and play?
Do you laugh every day?laughter is even physically healthy (not just mentally and emotionally) because your body receives extra oxygen. And since oxygen in our atmosphere and in our water has decreased astonishing amounts in the last century, getting oxygen into our blood may be worth putting our effort into! Breathing unconsciously, without practice, usually produces shallow breaths.
So do you laugh often? Don't feel bad or get defensive if you don't. There is no need and you are taking yourself too seriously again!! Hahahehehihihoho!!
We can all start right now, by taking a tiny step and seeing this possibility in our future, that we laugh every day with our full belly cackling laughs, maybe for no reason but being goofy. Maybe there is a laughter Yoga meetup near you. We can also begin to see ourselves dancing skipping or cartwheeling with the freedom of our given bodies. If we intend to become such a character, and revisit the vision on occasion, we are bound to become it! Loosey goosey, happy laughing!
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Missing and Loving
I hate missing people. I can't stand that feeling, the gaping hole in my stomach that feels like sickness and incredible lack.
i hate it i hate it i hate it! and with that hate i am resisting it.
So here is the solution:
1. I am incredibly grateful that this person exists
2. I am incredibly grateful that this person is in my life, maybe not in the present moment, but in the great scheme of life we are and have been and will be intertwined.
3. We cannot possess anyone. We are doomed to be separate. I accept that, and happily await death, when our consciousness can merge {or something}
4. repeat steps 1 through 3.
i hate it i hate it i hate it! and with that hate i am resisting it.
So here is the solution:
1. I am incredibly grateful that this person exists
2. I am incredibly grateful that this person is in my life, maybe not in the present moment, but in the great scheme of life we are and have been and will be intertwined.
3. We cannot possess anyone. We are doomed to be separate. I accept that, and happily await death, when our consciousness can merge {or something}
4. repeat steps 1 through 3.
Monday 20 June 2011
Gratefulness
Its not possible to be grateful for some things, like untimely death, war, disparity in wealth and opportunities, and so on... And i haven't found it possible to be grateful all the time. I have it in my mind that 'i should be more grateful.' Every day it is my practice to try and see the gift in things, in people, in situations, and it can be tiresome, especially when i'm not feeling it...
But the it pays off! I mean, it builds up, rather, and it eventually overflows in authentic true thankfulness. Its a practice i highly recommend to anyone wishing to experience joy and... grace.
My friend had a quote in her living room that said 'there is always something to be grateful for... always" and yes, mentally, intellectually, you can always make a list
i'm grateful for water, for air, for great food, for supportive parents, for a healthy child, for my future opportunities, for my past mistakes from which i've learned, for the mistakes i'll make in the future from which i'll learn, for my future successes, for my past successes, for this planet, for my friends, for the people i will meet, et cetera in finitum
But the feeling is what i'm really after. The above mentioned are simply content-material, intended to provoke a feeling. For example, i can provoke sadness by telling you a story about a man and a woman who met when they were young, fell in love, got married, and were planning to spend the rest of their life together until the man suddenly died of a heart attack at the young age of 28 leaving his pregnant wife behind as a widow. Or i can provoke anger by telling you about injustices of the world. But the content is not necessarily effective if its .... just not the right time to feel grateful, angry, or sad, or whatever emotion is trying to be provoked. You know this from crusaders for jesus or Peta warriors who try to provoke you, but you're heartspace is nowhere close to theirs, and so all their provocations draw out is cynical scoffs.
In the same way, my daily attempt at trying to provoke gratitude can be met by my Self with frustration or a 'god this is not working' type of cynicism.
But when those moments come, i'd like to remind my self and anyone who relates to this, that 'this too shall pass.' Maybe time will teach us to trust in that mantra more and more, and we are still too young to comprehend the effects of Time. But regardless, we know it to be at least an intellectual truth, and that can be a powerful purpose to a mantra (tools for the mind, i think it translates...)
So keep on tugging along, and you will reach the top of that hill and the outpour of thankfulness and gratefulness and joy will come.
But the it pays off! I mean, it builds up, rather, and it eventually overflows in authentic true thankfulness. Its a practice i highly recommend to anyone wishing to experience joy and... grace.
My friend had a quote in her living room that said 'there is always something to be grateful for... always" and yes, mentally, intellectually, you can always make a list
i'm grateful for water, for air, for great food, for supportive parents, for a healthy child, for my future opportunities, for my past mistakes from which i've learned, for the mistakes i'll make in the future from which i'll learn, for my future successes, for my past successes, for this planet, for my friends, for the people i will meet, et cetera in finitum
But the feeling is what i'm really after. The above mentioned are simply content-material, intended to provoke a feeling. For example, i can provoke sadness by telling you a story about a man and a woman who met when they were young, fell in love, got married, and were planning to spend the rest of their life together until the man suddenly died of a heart attack at the young age of 28 leaving his pregnant wife behind as a widow. Or i can provoke anger by telling you about injustices of the world. But the content is not necessarily effective if its .... just not the right time to feel grateful, angry, or sad, or whatever emotion is trying to be provoked. You know this from crusaders for jesus or Peta warriors who try to provoke you, but you're heartspace is nowhere close to theirs, and so all their provocations draw out is cynical scoffs.
In the same way, my daily attempt at trying to provoke gratitude can be met by my Self with frustration or a 'god this is not working' type of cynicism.
But when those moments come, i'd like to remind my self and anyone who relates to this, that 'this too shall pass.' Maybe time will teach us to trust in that mantra more and more, and we are still too young to comprehend the effects of Time. But regardless, we know it to be at least an intellectual truth, and that can be a powerful purpose to a mantra (tools for the mind, i think it translates...)
So keep on tugging along, and you will reach the top of that hill and the outpour of thankfulness and gratefulness and joy will come.
Sunday 1 May 2011
Fourth Awakening
I just read this book last week, and its available as a free download from FourthAwakening.com.
Reading this book has potential to expedites the process of awakening, if you are into that sorta stuff :) I'm still falling in and out of the old programming of my mind and would really love more support in this area.'this book was nice for that, giving me some friends in this battle against my own programs, as well as providing some insights and new language.
In the future maybe I will add some significant exerpts but for now I'll just leave it here...
Reading this book has potential to expedites the process of awakening, if you are into that sorta stuff :) I'm still falling in and out of the old programming of my mind and would really love more support in this area.'this book was nice for that, giving me some friends in this battle against my own programs, as well as providing some insights and new language.
In the future maybe I will add some significant exerpts but for now I'll just leave it here...
Saturday 23 April 2011
Wake Up -the movie
Watch the trailer here
This film is about a normal guy who starts seeing things that we don't normally see.
This film is about a normal guy who starts seeing things that we don't normally see.
Friday 25 March 2011
Angels and Aliens
Its entirely possible they exist. But being a good skeptic, i don't believe anything without reasonable proof. Someone once said to me "Atheists don't believe in god because they don't have a reason to." And that must be true. I really really want to believe in aliens, aliens that are more intelligent than humans, that are in contact with us, and that the government is keeping from us because they don't trust that humans will react in a constructive manner beneficial to the economy. I would like to believe that aliens out there have a solution to our energy crisis and are watching us destroy our planet with a worried look on their face, hoping that we'll make the right choice and not use nuclear energy anymore and stop consuming the beautiful planets resources. But i've never seen a spaceship, and i've never been abducted, so i will simply remain hopeful.
But angels, well... I grew up thinking angels were a metaphor for something else, like the voice of Goodness that battles the voice of Self-serving Non Goodness. But goodness, on october 31st, 2010 i was contacted by supernatural conscious beings that i could only describe as angelic, and i described them quite sheepishly to the first few people i encountered. I stopped describing it, because i couldn't do it justice, and there was no point. It was revelation to me, and after that it would just become hearsay. I had to learn to treasure the experience for myself, let alone believe that it actually happened. Memory is a bitch, you know. And when they said 'have faith' I didn't think they meant 'have faith in your memory of your experience' because thats not as simple as it sounds!
I'm here, in a stable state of mind, perceiving with my 5ish senses, wondering if angels are around me and i just can't perceive them. What is the point of that? are they always trying to contact us, but we're too loaded up on high fructose corn syrup and trans fats and sugar and gluten to be able to perceive them? Perhaps our chakras are just too clogged up with environmental stress, or maybe the 4g network is getting in the way.
Maybe I wouldn't be able to handle constant contact. Maybe i can only handle intermittent contact for the purpose of inspiration and faith-material. Yeah, i bet i couldn't handle constant contact. Its like constant excitement and enthusiasm. Its exhausting.
But angels, well... I grew up thinking angels were a metaphor for something else, like the voice of Goodness that battles the voice of Self-serving Non Goodness. But goodness, on october 31st, 2010 i was contacted by supernatural conscious beings that i could only describe as angelic, and i described them quite sheepishly to the first few people i encountered. I stopped describing it, because i couldn't do it justice, and there was no point. It was revelation to me, and after that it would just become hearsay. I had to learn to treasure the experience for myself, let alone believe that it actually happened. Memory is a bitch, you know. And when they said 'have faith' I didn't think they meant 'have faith in your memory of your experience' because thats not as simple as it sounds!
I'm here, in a stable state of mind, perceiving with my 5ish senses, wondering if angels are around me and i just can't perceive them. What is the point of that? are they always trying to contact us, but we're too loaded up on high fructose corn syrup and trans fats and sugar and gluten to be able to perceive them? Perhaps our chakras are just too clogged up with environmental stress, or maybe the 4g network is getting in the way.
Maybe I wouldn't be able to handle constant contact. Maybe i can only handle intermittent contact for the purpose of inspiration and faith-material. Yeah, i bet i couldn't handle constant contact. Its like constant excitement and enthusiasm. Its exhausting.
Monday 21 February 2011
A New Earth
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart TolleMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
An accelerator of personal conscious transformation and evolution. I loved it. lots of good exercises and daily practices... moment to moment practices... I wonder if eckhart tolle is enlightened. He certainly knows the mechanics behind it all. Not only was it helpful, though, it was also intelligent :) He made some connections between the international situation (which is desperate as usual) and our individual pain-bodys.
Soon after reading this book, The Power of Now also fell into my hands, and i read it, and its all the same information, but with a few different analogies and less of the societal global context that A New Earth has. I wouldn't recommend this book to anybody, as not everybody is into this sort of self-transformational work. And even eckhart says at the beginning that this book will either be really powerful or it will be meaningless... So if your not into burning up Ego and becoming free of pain body and becoming more conscious of unconscious mechanisms...
View all my reviews
Saturday 8 January 2011
Living the "extremes"
My mom asked me why I always go so 'extreme' and don't walk the middle path more often. "extreme" is certainly relative, and people who live Extreme don't consider themselves to be Extreme. But i considered it.
And rephrased it.
Why, in comparison to my mother, do i seem to be more Extreme?
I always considered Extreme buddhists or Extreme Reborn christians, to come from extreme lives. Usually people who adhered to a strict set of rules to an Extreme degree where of Extreme backgrounds, survivors of abuse, neglect, addictions, what-have-you.
So, based on that consideration of mine, I thought, have i lived a more extreme life than my mothers?
I suppose I have! She grew up in japan, where the concept of 'normal' permeates throughout the culture, and she lived a 'normal' life. She went to school, didn't travel much until she was in her late teens, played sports and music, and had a bunch of peers with whom she could compare herself to and consider herself and her life Normal.
I, on the other hand, traveled around the world twice by the time i was two or three, and even though that was pre-autiobiographical memory, I'm sure it had some effect on me to be exposed to all those different frequencies, at the least on a subconscious level. Then, I lived in different places, never staying in one place for more than 2 or 3 years, rarely feeling like i Belonged or Fit In or definitely not Normal. When i was 13 i remember reading up on a bunch of religions and reading religious texts to see if I could Belong to a Belief System, since i couldnt identify with any Race or Country, and Race, Country, and Religion seemed to be the main Identification Factors for people around me. I couldnt find any religion, so i decided on the religion of atheism... Extreme atheism, in fact, and kept Anton LaVey's 'satanic bible' in my tennis bag as i traveled around the country and the world. I tire of extremism, though, and dabble in many things, though i may dabble intensely and Extremely for a little bit.
So now, when i proclaim that i'm Only Going To Use Cloth Diapers! for my baby, it may look extreme to my mother, but to me, i am ust doing the best that i can with the tools that i have to be environmentally sustainable, consciously aware to the preferences of my child, and not taking any shortcuts just because they 'wont have long term effects'.
I'd like to be much more Extremely present. Id like to be more Extremely healthy. Id like to be extremely connected and flowing with Spirit... You see, Extreme atheism swung right to the other side of the spectrum. Yin Yang reminds me... The waves created by a pebble in the pond create equally low valleys. I experience Extremes because my life experiences have swung me that way.
Its funny... Some of my friends, especially in my san francisco 'conscious' circles consider me 'reasonable' 'balanced' 'grounded'. Its all so relative to the perspectives we are viewing from.
And rephrased it.
Why, in comparison to my mother, do i seem to be more Extreme?
I always considered Extreme buddhists or Extreme Reborn christians, to come from extreme lives. Usually people who adhered to a strict set of rules to an Extreme degree where of Extreme backgrounds, survivors of abuse, neglect, addictions, what-have-you.
So, based on that consideration of mine, I thought, have i lived a more extreme life than my mothers?
I suppose I have! She grew up in japan, where the concept of 'normal' permeates throughout the culture, and she lived a 'normal' life. She went to school, didn't travel much until she was in her late teens, played sports and music, and had a bunch of peers with whom she could compare herself to and consider herself and her life Normal.
I, on the other hand, traveled around the world twice by the time i was two or three, and even though that was pre-autiobiographical memory, I'm sure it had some effect on me to be exposed to all those different frequencies, at the least on a subconscious level. Then, I lived in different places, never staying in one place for more than 2 or 3 years, rarely feeling like i Belonged or Fit In or definitely not Normal. When i was 13 i remember reading up on a bunch of religions and reading religious texts to see if I could Belong to a Belief System, since i couldnt identify with any Race or Country, and Race, Country, and Religion seemed to be the main Identification Factors for people around me. I couldnt find any religion, so i decided on the religion of atheism... Extreme atheism, in fact, and kept Anton LaVey's 'satanic bible' in my tennis bag as i traveled around the country and the world. I tire of extremism, though, and dabble in many things, though i may dabble intensely and Extremely for a little bit.
So now, when i proclaim that i'm Only Going To Use Cloth Diapers! for my baby, it may look extreme to my mother, but to me, i am ust doing the best that i can with the tools that i have to be environmentally sustainable, consciously aware to the preferences of my child, and not taking any shortcuts just because they 'wont have long term effects'.
I'd like to be much more Extremely present. Id like to be more Extremely healthy. Id like to be extremely connected and flowing with Spirit... You see, Extreme atheism swung right to the other side of the spectrum. Yin Yang reminds me... The waves created by a pebble in the pond create equally low valleys. I experience Extremes because my life experiences have swung me that way.
Its funny... Some of my friends, especially in my san francisco 'conscious' circles consider me 'reasonable' 'balanced' 'grounded'. Its all so relative to the perspectives we are viewing from.
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