Thursday 4 August 2011

willingness to believe


When we're too willing to believe in something, we can hastily conclude something which has more room to be explored. And we can close those doors to exploration.

We want to understand this reality fully. And in doing so we create a limited frame. We want to be at the finish line of comprehension, comfortably enlightened, and done.

The discomfort of Not Knowing can be unbearable sometimes. But, patience.

We may never know. I take comfort in thinking i will know, and i'll have moments of knowing even before i die. but those moments will be short lived. But again, that's just a belief that i'm holding on to, in order to create comfort.

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We all believe (something). Whatever method we reached the temporary conclusion (hopefully temporary) doesn't matter. Scientific method, magical deduction, dowsing, googling, research, stories passed down from ancestors and culture, television, media, movies, friends, hearsay, church...

There was this study that was done... lol... that showed that participants in the study couldn't shake old information, even after learning that it was false.

That further confirms my previous thought 'I don't believe what i believe.' Its a good place to stand, because its all false, i'm sure.


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So, I'm creating a story (consciously) (a story of beliefs, of reality) that will make me happy(happiest). I want to create a belief system that makes me joyful, enthusiastic, and inspired.
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Therefore, I'm choosing to believe that
1. I am a goddess, we are all gods and goddesses, Little Creators, reflections/fractals of the Great Kosmos, little geometries in a bigger geometry.

2. I am a vessel for consciousness, not a generator of it. Therefore, when i die, i do not cease to exist, although my body and form ceases to exist. This inspires me (why?) because it really takes the pressure off of Time and the fleeting nature of everything.
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I want to enjoy my life. There's nothing i can really accomplish that can make me happy on my deathbed, except to know that i was present for most of my life, not heading towards the future and not lingering in the past, but enjoying the moments when i was 24, 30, 35, 50, et cetera. I want to be here now for most, if not all of it.



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yup